All said, once I got over my initial fear of the unknown, I found that Tinder is what you make it. If you are looking for a one night stand, you can find it; however, if you are looking to go on dates, meet people, and potentially find a relationship, you can have that too. That being said, be careful always.
Dating and the Gospel
In my experience, dating is, well, not too enjoyable. I know rationally that you have to date to find the person you will marry-after all, it’s simple math that you would increase your chance of finding the right person if you expose yourself to more people-but I find myself again and again digging in my feet and refusing to put myself out there.
There’s too much at risk! You have to put yourself out there, trust others, and open up to people you just barely met. You have to do this again and again and again, until it seems like there will be no end to the parade of faces. How do we do it? How do we have the strength to continue to go on date after date, to face rejection again and again?
In the 2008 General Conference, President Uchtdorf spoke of hope. In his talk, “The Infinite Power of Hope,” he shares a story of his mother searching frantically for her lost children, hoping against hope that she will find them. He gives this definition of hope.
“Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.”
For us single young adults, hoping for marriage can sometimes seem futile and prospects can seem bleak. We know that eventually we will get married, but all we can see is our present sadness and hopelessness. When I get in moods like this, all I want to do is curl up in the fetal position.
But we can’t give in to these negative feelings Apart from making us no happier, these feelings prevent us from growing spiritually, mentally, and physically. We are stopped in our progression when we give in to despair.
We are of divine heritage and SingleSlavic infinite worth. We don’t know when on God’s timetable we will get married, but it will happen. And as long as we follow His plan for us we will become the person that He needs us to be and that our future spouse needs us to be. The journey will be long, and the journey will be tough; but we will emerge better than when we started.
I have a note on my desktop. It says, “Do caterpillars know they are going to become butterflies, or does God want to surprise them?” I like to think He surprises them.
I feel fine with what I have, so I think I’ll keep it. It feels like a “me” bio, and, if nothing else, through this experience I want to be me. I’m all for presenting your best “you,” but I want to be authentic.
My sister asked me if I felt weird going on so many dates (and, really, it is so many considering my last date was about a month ago, and the one before that was about three months ago) with so many different guys. Oddly enough, it really doesn’t feel uncomfortable to me. I don’t feel all that apprehensive or nervous (well, maybe a few butterflies, but nothing crazy).
The Fallout
Does that make me a bad person? I just feel weary. Drained: the only word for it. I need a date-free weekend for my introvertedness to take the time to recover. Plus, we were going to do something outside and the weather is bad. So there’s that.
I’m an introvert who has taught herself to be an extrovert, as my grandpa likes to say, and I recognize this about myself. I am slowly but surely getting to know my limits. Yes, I can conduct myself well in social settings, but I need at least a day to recoup from a taxing social engagement such as a party or a date.
Just last night I was talking to one of the guys, and he asked me what I was doing. I was watching America’s Next Top Model, which, I confess, is something of a guilty pleasure for me. Rather than avoiding the questions, I decided to tell him what I was doing. It was an interesting moment for me, one that I wasn’t entirely prepared for.